Foreign to Familiar

Where do I begin? Well lets start with two weeks ago. That was when we were just beginning to start our lecture on sin and repentance. I was definitely looking forward to this lecture, because I know it is my sin that separates me from God, so I was ready to buckle down and make this happen, getting close to the lord and all. As days went on getting closer to the time of lecture all the staff, without hesitation, said" you must pray for this lecture it is serious and should not be taken lightly", but what was I to think? Yeah I could pray, but what for. The thought of something or anything for that matter could go wrong during the week didn't seem real to me. Then that Saturday, two days before sin and repentance lecture, God kept pressuring me to call my mom. Then finally I made the phone call and when I did she had told me that my grandfather, who was like a second dad to me, had died one day prior of pancreatic cancer. It tore me up inside, because I honestly thought I would see him when I got back and the worse of all was telling my mom I did not want to come home. She agreed as well as the rest of my family all 24 members. I felt bad not being there for my family, but I knew this is where God wants me and I knew that God had put in my mom's heart to tell me to stay as well and that is when I knew for sure I'm to stay here in India. I can't even begin to explain how perfect it seems here only because I know that God is sustaining my life, I think today that if I were to be in Hawaii right now I would be sustaining my own plan and not God's. Everyday I love it here even more. Now once was foreign now is familiar. I can now understand Indian accents, my friend Prereeta even thought I sounded like an Indian. And all Indians tilt their heads from side to side indicating "okay" I'm now beginning to do that. I'm used to the honking, I actually find it comforting. The store, closest to the YWAM base, owner knows my usual. Which is either diet coke or mango juice and an ice cream cone. Nothing that I do seems to surprise my roommate Lydia any more which is my usual tripping, knocking things over, misplacing everything, and screaming at the mouse that likes to invite himself into our room every so often. Being here has changed my outlook on life to a complete turn around. Before I arrived in India I honestly believed I would come back to Gig Harbor and pick up where I had left off, but now I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing after DTS. Right now I'm only positive about three things in my life1. I'm to be here India for DTS 2. Outreach begins Jan. 12Th 3. That I come home on March 16Th 2010 God is giving me one step at time and I know he wouldn't give me more than I can handle, but I continue to question God what is my vision for my lifetime and what does the adventure look like. I do know I'm getting a step closer. Yesterday was the day I went out into the slum for the first time and I loved it so much. I just gave my all to each child that God put into my pathway, I hugged them, laughed with them, and prayed for them. It was the most fulfilling experience I have ever had in my life. my only trouble was I don't know Hindi, but God used that to my advantage by just using my hugs and my smiles to communicate to them that I cared about them deeply. Not only that but God has put Rani in my life. She is about ten years of age and she picks up garbage, by herself, and sells it to help her family, she lives in a slum. Rani comes by our base on occasion and the YWAM staff either feed her or give her a bath. I met Rani yesterday in the morning before class. The only English she knows is "hello" and "goodbye", but for some reason God told me to sit by her and just listen to what she had to say. Rajni gave me this sense of love I have never felt before. It was God's way of telling me that I need to let go even more and let Him guide my path. I do have special place in my heart for Rani and seeing her today on the streets waiting for a bus with no shoes killed me inside, but my automatic response to seeing her was to give her a huge hug and it was the same for her as well. My first instinct, in my of helping her is adopting her and taking her to America, but for now God will use her another way to show me yet another stepping stone. Each day I'm seeking the kingdom in the way God wants me too and for the first time I'm letting Him. I will continue to search for my life calling, but for now I will wait, I will wait upon the lord.